Thursday, September 29, 2011

Smack myself in the face.

After everything that I've experienced; relationship wise, each one that has passed, I get more afraid than ever. After each, I've felt more foolish than before.  And what's up with all the trust issues lately? Lately I've been thinking that not everyone could be trusted. That some people I had plenty respect for, and just one slip of the tongue; weather it was a secret or something rude, they've automatically lost that respect. I love people, I love their company, but when it comes to my worst, my stubbornness shows, and I refuse to spill at that current moment of my zdxfcgvhjbk times. Afterwards, I'm fine, and I guess I'm fine with talking about what was wrong.

You know, another thing is that after everything; I hold back now. I'm afraid of everything, because I always think negatively, and I also think that every compliment must be a lie. Plus, I'm just disappointed in myself. Even though the past is the past, it's still irritating having it pop into your head once in a while. Another thing, I hate how you think you know a person, but they're either too good to be true and it just freaks you out, or they're sweet and friendly, but unfortunately they give every girl that special feeling. Screw the weak, and the player's game. I usually say there's just one.

One guy. The guy that you can be yourself around most of the time, the guy that's a friend, the one that you can talk to for help, the one that isn't so rude, and well other reasons. But, it doesn't even matter much. You can't approach the same person too many times, because it gets harder and harder each time. Feelings or no feelings towards me. There's only one thing that's important to me; Friendship.

Situations like this are mysterious as hell. It may happen, or the crushing side. It may never happen. But does that kill to know? No, not really, because I'm not letting myself breakdown, and the last thing for me to worry about is the opposite sex. I don't care if he reads this, and I don't care if you are either. I'm sure everyone knows, everyone makes it obvious & honestly I just don't care anymore.