Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I have feeling, remember that.

I hate thinking about them. Even though all these people in my mind were from the past, they all seem to bug me to the core. I know I shouldn't be letting the past get to me. I know that I should be using the past as strength. There are people that hurt me in the past. People that made me feel used, and taken advantage of. People that I couldn't keep in my life because they let other things take over their life. People who I know longer talk to anymore, because they're somewhere else now, and don't even try to keep in touch anymore. People who would say friends forever, and what not, but those were only words that we hoped for. I remember people saying "be careful with who you chose to be friends with, because not all of them will be with you in the future". But all the best friends I've had in the past were so certain that we'd let nothing get in the way. Wrong. They're moving, got in the way, and the lack of keeping in touch kept our distance.

Everything has changed and one thing you know, you barely know them anymore. I've had people in the past who has cheated, lied, disrespected, and used me. Though I let go of those who brought out the worst in me, I would still love to say "effff you" for the bullshit I've been through. Losing the best friends that were there for you no matter what definitely bugs me. The ones that comforted you when you'd cry, cry with you, listen to every single word you had to say. The ones that showed they cared no matter what. The people that brought unconditional fun on a daily basis. The people I had adventures with. Going here and there all the time. I miss a few of these people, and I dislike a few of them as well. I don't even know what my point is to this post. But I was just looking at a few old friends, old blogs from people, and me being moody right now, just got to me how hurt I am for losing people, and how mad I am for putting up with people, but how happy I am for letting go of those that has hurt me. Oh geez, I need peace in my mind.