Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I thought I was finally doing okay.

It seems as if, every time I re-gain my strength, and every time I'm able to be bold again, something stops me. I can't take this anymore. It's like, everything seems to be great, I can actually say I'm content. But to ask myself that right now? It's only during the day when I'm doing great. Why? Because it's light. At night, I grow fear, and as much as I try to overcome it, pray about it, and etc… My fear comes back.

When I wait till I fall asleep, I end up sleeping like a baby. When I actually think "Ha, I'm good now, I got nothing to worry about" and pray, then head to bed, nightmares will get to me. It doesn't make sense. It pisses me off. I wish I'd be able to sleep like a baby, with nice dreams, or not even dream at all. Shoot, I don't even care if my dream is filled with unicorns, flowers, fairies and whatever pretty, cutsie thing there is out there. It's better than watching something being possessed. I need frickin rest.