Saturday, April 7, 2012

"What are you scared of?" "Life."

Some stuff are better left unsaid. I hide too much things in myself recently. It just, to pretend like you are okay is better than showing how much you stress out lately and to avoid from explaining why you are not okay. I don't mind if you, which are stranger do not give a damn about me but when it comes to person I love the most, doesn't even bother to ask why I've changed. Doesn't even care and ask "Are you okay?"

There are some stuff that are just too complicated to even type out for it. I stopped talking about my life in this blog and to everyone because there are some thoughts that don't even matter. Thoughts that I would probably get judged about. Thoughts that make people approach me and pity me because of my thoughts. And as much as I want to pour my heart out about all the things and struggles that go through in my head and life, I refrain myself from doing so.

And oh, I found this one post on tumblr :-

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible." 

I'm tired.